Day 256 and ready to podcast it up for Martinez Girlz Radio!  I am so stoked to move MGR over to the VOC Nation network.  They have been so good to me and it is the perfect fit.  As most of you know I have been podcasting for a few years now trying to see what works and what doesn't.  Adding MGR to the VOC Nation network is a move that I have been wanting to make for some time.  Positive vibes VOC Nation, now lets podcast!

Last week Danielle and I discussed in more detail our Fozzy Friday, R.O.T.N. album release party and getting ready to see Electra again.  Miss the live broadcast?  No problem.  Click on the picture below to download!

 

 

Thought of the Day

Cleaning your plate when done vs throwing it in the sink can change your entire day.  Such is life. If you defile your being, clean it up. Don't just let it sit in the sink of life because if you do it will pile up and may become a burden to clean.  ONE Love!

As I said in the video I really feel blessed to be able to work in the field I love but I need to start making wiser decisions on which types of gigs to take.  After losing hundreds of dollars last month I have been in hustle mode taking any gig I can which has led to days like this.  I learned a lot, met cool people and made a couple of bucks but I just don't think I can do it anymore.  I mean, if I HAVE to I will but I REALLY am going to try and make this shoot my last low pay/background work.  After I was done with the shoot I didn't feel like going out AT ALL.  I knew I just needed to get home and regroup then force myself to go out.  Everything seemed to take a positive turn when our Lyft arrived!

It was really cool to hear Ryan's story and how Lyft helps him pursue his passion, music.  We Martinez Girlz are all about the positive vibes but sometimes we need positive vibes in our life to ignite our souls.  That is exactly what happen on the way to House of Blues.  I have never seen Fozzy live and didn't know what to expect.  Chris is very dear to my heart and it was amazing to see him perform with his whole being.  His band totally brought it.  They were so entertaining and genuine.  There have been times when I have seen bands play live and they gave off a "trying too hard" vibe but not Fozzy.  Fozzy is legit, too legit to quit!  After the show we hung out with Chris and it was exactly what I needed.  Sometimes in life you have your go to people who uplift your soul by simply just being there for you when you need it the most.  This summer was gnarly and hurt my pink feelings but now that it's fall I feel refreshed, renewed and no longer am effected by the disappointments I had.  Seeing Chris reminded me of who I was, who I am and who I am meant to be.  We also had a cool convo about life, music and sharing positive vibes all around with Fozzy bassist Paul Di Leo.  It warms my heart and inspires me to see Chris doing his thing on his terms.  Some people are naturally well rounded performers and he is definitely one of them.  Much Love, Light and positive vibes to Fozzy.  Long live rock'n'roll!

Some cool quotes from my morning read I thought I would share with all of you.  Positive vibes!

"The creation is quite like a spacious and splendid house, provided and filled with the most exquisite and the most abundant furnishings.  Everything in it tells us of God." - John Calvin

"To everyone who conquers, I will give permission to eat from the tree of life that is in the paradise of God." - Revelation 2:7

"God set man in paradise, giving him the opportunity to advance, so that by becoming mature and by sharing the divine life, he might thus ascend to heaven.  For man was created in an intermediate state neither entirely moral not wholly immortal, but capable of becoming either." - St Theophilus of Antioch

Thought of the Day

"The world is not like a pic painted by an artist centuries ago which now hangs untouchable in a museum Its more like a wrk of art in constant process of creation"

Bright and early on Day 244, the business?  Getting a good workout with The Mertzes without aggravating my rib.  We just got back a few hours ago and our workout was successful!  Nothing beats being outdoors with my cardio buddies Fred and Ethel.  Every time I go up into the Hollywood Hills or Runyon Canyon I come back home with a clear head and full of inspiration.  Not only am I getting my body in shape but being out in nature always brings peace of mind.  Going through my break up and mourning the death of my grandma have been easier to deal with while embracing hikes, long walks and alone time with The Lord.  No distractions just me and my Creator figuring out why I feel the way I do, understand it, embrace it then letting go.  How freeing it has been.  I love my Mertzes and I think there is something to be said about using your furry friends as therapy to sooth the soul. 

Last weekend Danielle invited me to The Viper Room to see Electra.  I think she is so talented and cannot wait to see where her career goes.  This was the first time I was introduced to her music and had no idea what to expect.  I left The Viper Room a new fan!  Her sound, lyrics and vibe was just what I needed.   Her dad is even in the band. I know first hand you have something special when you get to collaborate with family.  Positive vibes to Electra and her band, your music touched my soul.

http://www.electrabarakos.com
http://www.myspace.com/electrabarakos
http://www.twitter.com/electrabarakos
http://www.youtube.com/ecbmusic

Little did I know last week at this time I would slip and fall causing the worst injury I have ever had.  I wish I could say it was from a gnarly match or even a batched spot but nooooooooo I slip and fall at home?  I'm such a nerd.  Anywho, I was not going to let a bruised rib keep me from going to House of Blues Sunset to see Alice in Cooperland.  I'm not going to lie, it was difficult.  I was in so much pain but it was totally worth it.  I feel like a jerk because I have no clue who this opening band was but they were great!  I googled every band that HOB billed but none of them seem to be this band.  Hopefully I will see them again and get my facts straight :)

I LOVE Antichrist Superstar!  He was so dramatic and theatrical I couldn't help but become a fan. I told Danielle the show was like wrestling.  You become someone else, put on a show and tells a good story.  Antichrist Superstar had different sets and costume changes that helped illustrate the story being told.  The stilts!  I love that he came out in stilts, I mean you can't be a Marilyn Manson tribute band and kayfabe the stilts.  The main event, of course, was Alice in Cooperland.  Danielle scored these tickets at her work so we had no idea that Alice in Cooperland exist.  A few weeks ago we were telling our mom that we were dying to see Alice Cooper.  Last year we got close but it didn't happen.  When Danielle got the tickets we looked them up on YouTube and after about 30 seconds of watching the video we were sold.  Isn't life grand.  Okay, so we didn't see Alice Cooper but I'm okay with that.  The energy Alice in Cooperland and Antichrist Superstar brought to the House of Blues stage was so inspiring.  I took that energy with me to CWF Hollywood and let me tell you something, I kicked ass!  Positive vibes to the fullest to Alice in Cooperland and Antichrist Superstar.  Keep the music alive amigos!

Click here to see more pics!

 

I was on YouTube looking up recent footage so I can update my reel and I came across this gem.  I did this back in April and had no clue what I was in for.  I keep trying to land a gig as one of those hot Latinas that wear cute outfits and either dance or act in comedic scenes but never have lines.  The first time I thought I was got booked for that type of gig I ended up being on a Spanish dating show.  I had no idea that it was a dating show until they literally started to shoot.  I thought, what would Joey Tribbiani do, own it.  So I did.  Well, when my amiga Amber Jean called me to join her on this show I thought it was that dream booking but found myself on some sort of American Idol type deal.  They gave me some dialog, I memorized the lines and they totally went off script.  So I just pulled another Tribbiani.  How about the bad editing job they did on trying to make it look like we got topless.  OMG.  It was fun and I wouldn't give that experience up for the world.  Lesson learned, I MUST learn Spanish so I know what I am getting myself into when getting booked in Spanish TV.

When The Mertzes and I got home I got an email alert from LA Casting saying there was a rush call for he project I am booked on.  I emailed the casting director to let him know if he needed to book more talent I have a sister.  He immediately replied and now Danielle will join me today which mean crazy Goonie adventures!  I love when we are able to work on set together.  Any gig is a better gig when you have The Martinez Girlz.  Last Friday I had a gig with Daniel Baldwin.  The entire time I was there I thought dang, I wish Danielle was here.

I had a blast working with Daniel Baldwin, he's a hoot!  We had some cool conversation that left quite the impression on me.  I believe this film is called The 420 Movie and will be out sometime next year.  I played one of Baldwin's little hussies ;)  I was in so much pain during this shoot.  The day before is when I bruised my rib but I totally no sold it the entire time.  Once I got home I felt I was able to finally relax, ice my rib and went right to sleep.  Positive vibes to Daniel Baldwin and the rest of his movie shoot.

When I put the video about together I racked my brain to where this footage was.  I had a D'oh moment when I realized I accidentally put it in a different file folder.  These two definitely brought positive vibes to me soul during this shoot.  I think it's radical when two strangers can come together and connect for art.  ONE Love!

So on Friday I started my day filled with excitement to work on a project with Danielle.  We both went into it with a positive mind set and ready for action.  Little did we know that we would be challenged the entire time struggling to stay positive.  I'm not trying to be negative, just being real but this was one of the worst experiences I have had on set in a long time.  Thank goodness Danielle was with me or I think I would've lost my mind.  There's a reason for everything and besides becoming a stronger person through this experience I believe my purpose on this shoot was to share my thoughts/feelings with another actress.  We had a deep, meaningful conversation that was brief yet needed to happen.  That being said positive vibes to everyone on this shoot, even the ones who threw nothing but negative vibes to me and Danielle.

 

We got home super late from the shoot and being at home was quite the reminder we live in Hollyhood.  I am so grateful to have a place to live but boy living on this street is draining.  I pray that Danielle and I can move (sooner rather than later) to a place that will allow us to have peace at night especially after coming home from the day we had.  Living here has brought a realness to my life that helps keep me in check.  It's easy to get lost in the wrestling bubble that exists when you are in the business.  Positive vibes to my neighborhood and all the ugliness that has been a constant reminder that life is real and so is darkness.  



Here I go again, crazy Shelly running around getting lost.  With every bump in the road is a lesson and it's up to us if we learn the lesson or ignore it.  If you ignore it you end up with the same results over and over again.  What did I learn?  Always have at least $5 cash when venturing to parts unknown while taking public transportation.  Had I had just $1 I could've made it to my gig on my own.  The guys were really cool about having to pick me up and it gave us a chance to get to know each other before shooting.

I had so much fun on the shoot.  I played the girlfriend who just wants to be loved by her man.  I can't wait for the final product to come out.  Comedy is my favorite genre to work in and it adds so much when you can be comfortable with the people you are in the scene with.  It's kind of like a match, after you have a good match with someone you worked for the first time the creative juices flow and you can't wait to work them again.  That's what happened on this shoot.  I can't wait to work with them again. 

 

Here is the completed project I was involved in.  Again, super silly, super fun and I hope to play with these boys again.  

I can't wait to share with all of you the latest videos that we have been capturing as The Martinez Girlz take on Hollyhood.  I feel so inspired and full of life.  This summer had it's ups, downs,  disappointments and blessings which all gave me the life lessons to become a better version of myself.  Praise be The Lord for He is good and may His Love endure forever.  No matter what you believe in (or don't) may your day be filled with positive vibes that lift you up as a human being so that you are a better version of yourself today than you were yesterday.  ONE Love!

I wasn't able to broadcast #savewrestling the podcast live a few weeks ago so Danielle and I took the prerecorded segments to the hills of Runyon Canyon.  Run to the hillllllllls, run for your liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife.  I think it's fun to take podcasting outdoors.  If we had a better microphone it would be choice so until then sorry for the audio issues.  We are just two girls just trying *points finger in air ;)

Speaking of Runyon Canyon a few days ago I made new record time in getting to the top of the canyon in 10 minutes!  I was struggling mentally that day and needed some inspirado to kick my booty into gear.  That's when I put on Mickie James song Strangers and Angels.   It was EXACTLY what I needed to hear and lit my soul on fire.  I love you Mickie, thanks for continuing to inspire xoxo

So the day started off well.  I went to 7-11 for coffee and a Homer donut with an eager mindset because I knew my gig was near the beach.  As per my experience the day before I made sure to have a couple of bucks on me in case I found myself transferring on a bus that doesn't accept the Metro Tap card.  I was on the metro and that's where it began.  Mayo called.  He was so rude and negative making things harder than they need to be.  After his rant I asked "...are you done? Is this why you called me to tell me all this?"  He said yes and then I said "okay...bye" then hung up.  I tried so hard to shake negative feelings towards him which then led to me thinking about other struggles in my life.  I found myself going in a downward spiral mentally and kept praying for peace.  I took a moment after my prayers and peace is exactly what I got.  I understood the situation in a different way.  You can't control how other people act and react.  You can only control how you act and react.  It's so simple but something I lose sight of that sometimes and it takes me down depression road. 

So I made my transfers only to find that I was going in the wrong direction LOL  Once I got back on track I felt pretty good about everything.  I went to the address I was given and there was no one there!  It thought to myself great what if this is the Craig's List Killer after me.  I literally walked around in circles only to find there was no filming going on at that location.  Everything seemed so shady.  The fella who booked me started calling to find out where I was and eventually I made it to the right location *enter eye roll. 

It was a bummer city deal that they didn't use me the way they said there were and as result I wasn't paid.  I did enjoy my time on the beach though.  As I said in the video it was all worth it to spend some much needed time at the beach.  My only regret was not calling Mariah to come grab a drink with me because goodness knows I needed one!  Oh well, next time....

Well, as the old saying goes if at first you don't succeed try, try again.  The week before I tried to re-register but I got all mixed up with the bus lines and didn't make it on time.  I'm glad it worked out this way because A, I now know those bus lines and B, Danielle got to come with me!  I have gotten some great gigs from Central Casting and I want more.  A few months ago I got a call to be on Dexter and when they asked me for my Central Casting ID my profile was expired and I lost an opportunity. 

Danielle had the opposite problem.  She thought this whole time her membership expired but she's good to go until the beginning of next year!  Oh those Martinez Girlz LOL we are such nerds.  Now we are back on track and are ready for whatever the future holds and hopefully it holds lots of cool gigs that help inspire and shape who we are.

 

 

On Sunday after CWF Hollywood Danielle, Peter and I headed on down to The Sunday Nite Stu for a fun time.  Shout out to Mary B the OG and Doug Powers for always supporting The Martinez Girlz!  I couldn't help but laugh my arse off when Jamie Kennedy showed up with his silliness.  Make sure to check out the video above to see all the shenanigans.  

If your like me you cannot get enough bagels.  My fav is an everything bagel with cream cheese.  I have limited my bagel in take due to the high carbohydrates it contains until I discovered Bagel Thins.  My body is so sensitive to carbs and this alternative is perfect for my lifestyle.  You got to keep it tight but that doesn't mean you have to give up all the foods you love.  If you just look around you will find alternative so that you don't deprive yourself.  When I used to heavily diet I would always deprive myself which led to over eating when my body and mind couldn't take it anymore.  Well thank you Bagel Thins because we're not gonna take it anymoooooooooore! 

Yesterday was one of those days!  I woke up bright and early, felt great and after I made this video it seemed one thing after another kept happening.  Life can be frustrating at times but I have learned when you have a day filled with bumps in the road you got to just go with the flow.  If you allow yourself to get stressed out it could lead to anger and/or depression.  I refuse lose my cool just because things aren't going according to plan.  We can't control everything we can only control how we act and react to situations and experiences. 

So on my way home I was praying and ask The Lord to bring me peace.  I was able to let go of the negativity and when I got home the ex texted me and finally agreed to send the paper today!  Hopefully it will arrive by Monday then back to the courthouse on Tuesday to FINALLY become Martinez again.  Phew....what a crazy couple of months.  From my grandma dying to people I love no longer being in my life to yesterday, crazy!  Today was a tough one for me all the craziness sat on my shoulders and I broke down.  I just got off the phone with my amigo Jon Bolen and I feel so much better.  I needed to let everything out instead of holding it in like a tough gal.  Even tough gals need a good cry sometimes.  Okay back to editing now, thanks for listening and supporting me everyone.  It truly means a lot to me.  Positive vibes, ONE Love.

 

Here's some radical footage of behind the scenes shooting with RVD for my Sprinkles series.  I originally worked on this project with my then boyfriend and when we broke up I began to ask him for footage.  It took literally years to finally get it from him BUT timing is everything right?  Shooting the Sprinkles series was such a learning experience as an actress.  It was tough, we did everything ourselves.  I remember running is 8" heels on the beach thinking I was going to break my ankle LOL.  Oh the memories! 

 

 

When I got the footage it was incomplete so I thought why not make a little teaser with it until I figure out how to complete the series.  Revisiting this footage really sparked something inside of me.  Something that I needed to be reminded of and I take that with me and will apply it to each performance in acting and wrestling.  A huge gracias to Rob for being Uncle Slam and doing such a great job slamming the Nazi's.  



 

On our last morning in Osa Mountain Village I decided to take one last hike with Flaca and Tilly.  I am SO glad I went.  It was such a beautiful morning, dare I say the most beautiful morning I had experienced while there.  I had been there for five days feeling, learning, growing and this hike put all those experiences in order which allowed me to let go of so much.  While taking in the gorgeous view everything seem to settle in and I knew I was leaving that mountain a stronger, wiser version of myself.  So priceless.  So real.  

 

Leaving the villa was hard but I will be back one day with Danielle.  We decided to save up for a year so we can go!  During our drive the breaks went out in the car.   Thank God we didn't get into an accident.  As per usually it all worked out and the little bump in the road became part of the adventure.  I was playing DJ during our drive and when I played When Doves Cry by Prince EVERYONE in the car was feeling it. During the silent part of the video that is the song that is supposed to be playing but YouTube pulled the old heel move on me and muted it.  Once I get caught up with all my footage from last month I am sure I will edit it again.  Until then, deal with it!

 

I love the restaurant we ended up at.  They had great food and such a cute layout.  I'm sure our driver didn't appreciate the travel drama but I enjoyed it!  Driving through the crazy roads then through water was radical.  Like a safari :)  I wish I got more footage but perhaps it wasn't meant.  Some things are just not meant.  That's what I learned on this trip.  You may plan or expect things to go a certain way but when it's not meant life has a way of showing you.  It's then up to you to receive it, learn, grow then move forward or to be stuck in something that's not meant.  From little things to life changing things what's meant to be will be.  So cliché but it's true.  I will ALWAYS treasure EVERY situation/experience I had on this trip from trying to get there to leaving.  Huge thanks to Kevin for bringing me and to John for allowing me to tag along.  ONE LOVE!

Yes, I take karaoke seriously.  Not too seriously though.  Serious enough to perform my little heart out!  One of the songs I always do is What's Up by 4 Non Blondes.  Usually Danielle performs it with me but since she wasn't here I filled in for her. 

Aerosmith is special to my heart and I was filled with joy when Kevin joined the locals to sing this amazing song.  I don't wanna close my eyyyyyyyyyes....I don't wanna missssss a thing, cuz I miss you baby and I don't wanna miss a thiiiiiing!

The second song on my set is You Outta Know, I have my reasons and in this performance I gave it my all.  Darn that chorus, I just can get down...yet!

Danielle and I are such Grease nerds it felt good to sing this song in Costa Rica.  Last time I sang it  was years ago when I was in TNA.  This song reminds me of that time in my life and how Amazing Kong and I bonded whole heartedly with this song.  So Pebbles, this ones for you!  Love, Janice xo

I felt so bad.  Kevin kept telling me how wonderful his experiences have been at Osa Mountain Village but when we went this time things were different.  It seemed what brought the community together was the eating experience.  We went came they were in between cooks and the restaurant was closed.  On our last night the new cook arrived and I finally got the experience Kevin had been telling me about for months.  What made it extra special for me is Strangers in the Night was playing while we walked up to the restaurant.  That's MY SONG!  I am often found humming, whistling or singing it randomly.  Not only am I stoked that I got the full experience but it made me so happy to see Kevin enjoy himself the way he remembered.  I'm not saying we had a bad time but I definitely know how it is to revisit a place expecting the same type of environment only to be let down that things have changed.  Yay Kevin!  You got your night :) 

After we ate we joined the locals at the bar for some karaoke.  I'm not sure how many of you are aware of this but The Martinez Girlz love themselves some karaoke.  I never have had the chance to do karaoke while with Kevin and I was radical to see he was down.  I learned a lot, felt a lot but I think my absolute favorite night was this night.

I was so impressed that this local did NOT miss a beat when singing Semi Charmed by Third Eye Blind.  They are one of my favorite bands and I know I couldn't have pulled it off the way he did.  Kudos amigo, kudos.  Much Love to Osa Mountain Village!

It was a little chilly but I got in the warmest pool.  I wish we had the opportunity to hang out at the pool more but it rained a ton while we were there.  I had a fun time hanging out just taking in the scenery as the clouds moved in on us.  It felt mystical.  Even though Kevin's back flip wasn't perfect it sure was better than mine.  Maybe I should've attempted it, dang it.  I dropped the ball.....

This was the day I truly bonded with Flaca.  I've been known to just take off and walk for hours.  That is exactly what Flaca and I did.  I didn't know where I was going but I knew with Flaca leading the way everything was going to be allllllright.  I was feeling inspired when I woke up and decided to wear my trainer's (Shannon Ballard) shirt.  It always comes back to rasslin'!  It has a different definition to me now and when I was on this hike with Shannon's merch on everything made sense.  My place in wrestling, what it has meant to me, what it currently means to me but all in all I LOVE WRESTLING.

I came across this beautiful butterfly paradise but unfortunately it was closed.  At the end of the road was the animal rescue, which was also closed.  It's all bueno, I know I'm meant to go there with Danielle anything less would be disrespectful to The Martinez Girlz code of honor.

That night we went back to the bar for some local fun.  I'm still not quite sure what Kevin and John ate but it was fun documenting it.  My favorite thing to do is have some laughs while listening to some tunes with good people.  That is exactly what the Osa Mountain Village bar has to offer.  I dislike clubs or overly crowded bars, always have and always will.  Thank you Osa Mountain Village for showing me such a great time.  Positive vibes to ALL of you!

I LOVE walking in the rain!  What a treat to venture into the Rainforest of Costa Rica while its raining.  The beauty I experienced is indescribable.  Kevin was excited to harvest our food but when we arrived to Osa Mountain Village we were told most of the fruit was not in season.  Poor Kevin, I know he was super bummed what he had planned for our trip was a no go.  We still had fun and came across these bananas Kevin beat out of a tree.

The bar at Osa Mountain is totally my vibe.  The locals are so friendly and were happy to have us there.  During the day I ate light and was rationing my water so needless to say when I drank some vino boy did it hit me!  I had fun though.  Once we got back to the villa I puked :(  It's been years since I threw up from alcohol, what am I in my 20's again?  Little Flaca was stayed by my side ever step of the way which brought me comfort.  Oh Flaca, how I miss thee. 

Finally I have caught up with all my Cost Rica video which means it's time to blog about them!  I literally went from The Gathering of the Juggalos in Cave in Rock, Il to Jersey to Costa Rica.  It's been a crazy month and this journey has been quite the ride.  I think the trip from Newark to Costa Rica set the vibe of the entire trip.  Go with the flow, you don't know what to expect and things may end up the opposite of what you thought they would.  It's all positive and I look forward to blogging my thoughts as I take you on my Costa Rica adventure.

 

I love that our driver made a stop for us so we could check out the crocodiles.  I have never seen crocodiles in their natural habitat but it felt like the zoo since we were so high up.  It was quite the treat to see Ethel's Costa Rican amiga while we pulled over to use el bano.  The ride up to Osa Mountain Village was so beautiful.  I wish I had better equipment so I could've really given you the full experience. My favorite part of Day 1 was meeting Flaca.  She's the community dog.  They found her and her mother lost and very thin.  Her mom passed away but Flaca is a fighter and now she's alive and healthy.  She's my Costa Rican angel.   Editing this video really came from my heart.  When I watch it back I can't help but get choked up.  What an amazing place Costa Rica is, if you're not careful you will find your soul becoming one with the land.  Once you open yourself up you fall in true Love.

#Day213 and boy was it an uncomfortable night.  We only had one window in our apartment so the air circulation it pretty non existent here.  We had the fans blasting all night long yet it must have been about 80 degrees.  It's all good though, I woke up a little earlier than usual and totally have benefited from it.  Me and The Mertzes took Danielle to her bus stop then went to the Hollywood Hills for some early cardio.  We went yesterday at 9AM and it was too hot. 

After a great workout I came home and submitted myself for some castings.  One was for today and  since I was up earlier enough, I landed the gig.  I don't have to stress about time :)  Workout's done and now I have a few hours to prepare myself.  YAY!  Stay tuned for some iPhone Diaries, hopefully this time I wont get lost....

#Day212 up bright and early taking care of business.  It's always a good morning when Ethel is being so sweet.  Yesterday I saw a side of Ethel I haven't seen in long time.  She was so playful!  She hasn't been that playful since losing her sight and seeing her back to her old self gave me hope.  I am going to investigate the cost of having Ethel seen by a doggie eye specialist in case she is a candidate for a doggie eye surgery.  The vet told us that she may be, crossing fingers!  I will definitely keep all of you posted but until then I'm off to do some Hollywood Hills cardio with The Mertzes then get ready for today's shoot!  Positive vibes, I hope everyone has a blessed day.

*Don't forget, you can leave a comment to ALL my entries in the comment box below.  I answer all of them myself ;)

A few days after writing this post I woke up feeling so sick.  I couldn't shake it until I discovered that I had been suppressing a lot of feelings lately.  I've been through so much in the last few months I didn't allow myself to feel it out.  I knew I didn't want to allow it to distract me but I forgot to actually deal with each issue with love, understanding and peace.  I still am working through my heartbreaks but I feel stronger than ever before.  My biggest heartbreak was my grandma passing away.  I think of her every single day.  Each time I think of her I learn something about myself, other and/or life.  Her precious love still continues to inspire.  Here is my original post:

Someone once told me "all you do is smoke pot all day" but what they probably do not realize is cannabis is my medication.  I am dealing with the death of my grandma along with the spiritual warfare that has been surrounding me for months.  Long story short, I should be on medication for depression and anxiety but  Zoloft and Xanax did not give me a better quality of life.  In fact, I felt I was in a zombie state of mind.  I only told my best friend/roommate the concerns I had with the side effects they gave me and that's when RVD came into my life.  I had just started being on the road full time and I kept bumping into him at various stops.  He would tell me the benefits of cannabis without knowing my views on it and that I was struggling mentally.  I looked up all the information he gave me and it checked out.  That's when I decided to medicate for the first time.  Since then I have been able to live a better quality of life.  I'm not saying I NEED cannabis.  I'm just saying that instead of popping prescription medication I use herbal medication.  Some days I smoke a lot and others not so much.  In fact, there have been times I had no cannabis in my system (at all) and I had a wonderful day. 

It really hurt me when I was judged by this person and then I started to compare my life to theirs.  I went from a gal with hurt pink feelings to feeling empowered.  This person doesn't have the motivation I have that allows me to accomplish my goals and dreams.  They doesn't focus on a healthy mental, fitness and spiritual lifestyle.  I used to be that person so I can relate and say with confidence I know where they are coming from.  I'm grateful for those experiences they are amazing reminders I had once been there but now I am no longer angry.  My anger turned into compassion for this person.  I felt for them, I prayed for them.  Anger is an ugly thing and I used to have SUCH a problem with it.  Back in the day I was the chick who would punch a hole in the wall out of frustration.  I was the one who was ready to physically get into a fight if I had to and sometimes I wanted to fight.  That's right Miss Positive Vibes used to be not positive vibes at all.  I had so much hurt in my life I didn't think I could ever obtain peace.  I was a good girl who was hurt and didn't know where to go for the answers and peace that I so desperately needed.  When cannabis entered my life I was able to connect with high school Shelly.  The girl who would wear cute little outfits to school with a bible in her purse.  A girl that people would say "what is it about you" and I would reply "It's the Love of The Lord."  What a blessing my life experiences both negative and positive are.  They have helped me become a wiser version of the person I was and wanted to be.  I feel free and full of life and I just had to share this story with you.  Positive vibes to everyone out there, I mean it.  This world is filled with darkness and I hope that this post had brought a little Light to at least one person today.  Shalom amigos y amigas!

Hola!  Just wanted to give you a little update on this fine Sunday morn :)  I have tons of NEW videos to share but my WiFi connection in the hotel sucks and it's taking way too long to upload to YouTube.  I will have a better signal tomorrow.  Make sure you don't miss an update and join my site FREE, just click here.  For all things wrestling join my Save Wrestling page by clicking here!

Okay now that I got my carny on time to get real.  Can I just say something?  I need to get it off my chest.  I know I keep repeating myself but the last few weeks I have learned so much about myself and others.  I realized some people who I cared so much about weren't fitting in my life anymore.  In the last few weeks 4 people who I care deeply for and have radical connections with are wrapped up in darkness.  It's a hard thing for me to sit back and watch.  The whole time I was with these people I would pray for them and ended up having some interesting convos with each individual.  Some of those connections came to an end :(  One of them I gained an insight I didn't expect and it soothe my soul.  Another was so disappointing as my heart ached and went out to this person.  There definitely was a time in my life where darkness was all around me.  I feel for these people, I've been there.  Each encounter I had with them I could relate.  In those conversation I saw each of them in a raw, real way.  They looked physically different to me after I saw them in their true form.  My heart is broken for these soul and I have been struggling with depression over this.  Not to mention I am still mourning my grandma's death. Thank God, literally, that He has given me wisdom and strength so that I am able to handle this depression in a healthy way.

That struggle is not holding me down it just makes me feel blue.  I then pray for these people, lift them up to The Lord and I find peace.  My wish is that these souls find peace in ways they never knew exist.  I certainly didn't know that living my life as I currently do would grant me so much peace that when people hurt me I no long have anger.  I have compassion which leads to forgiveness.  Each time I forget I gain more of my energy back and find peace.  I'm so grateful for the blessings in my life even those blessing I have yet to understand.  Life is a trip but as long as you tuck your chin and kick out you can make your baby face come back.  ONE Love, Shalom.


Before I post videos on YouTube I watch it to make sure there are no errors.  After watching then uploading this video I posted the following on my private FB page and I think its speaks for it's for this particular blog:

Since I was a little girl I always saw life in picture or movie form. I remember playing in the yard and I would close my eyes, turn my head then open my eyes while singing songs in my head that went along with my vibe. It trips me out when I edit videos and it comes so naturally. That's when I reflect on those moments and I know it's something that I was meant to do. When I shoot my footage I am editing it together as I am filming. I just edited my first day in Costa Rica and it literally made me cry. The Dirty Heads song playing while we drive kept coming on my shuffle and I knew I had to use that song. It's so perfect. At first I wanted to be a YouTuber to make a couple extra bucks to help better my situation. After doing it for a few months I looked at it as a way to spread as much of Gods Love as I could and to as many people as possible. This world hurts us and we all need some Love. Now I look at it as therapy as I reflect on moments in my life that help mold who I am. I see myself grow and become a woman I never knew existed within my soul. I feel so much compassion in my heart I can't help but what to spread the joy I have rediscovered. I cannot wait to edit more footage from Costa Rica. I left a piece of my soul there and I intend to go back and nurture what I found in that rain forest. This time I will have Danielle by my side and we will have a true adventure. Shalom.

I haven't updated my #daily videos for quite some time so I thought why not do a full blog on the ones I missed :)  I pulled an all nighter before leaving to The Gathering in which I spent my time preparing my soul for the long weekend.  Plus when I pull all nighters before a flight it guarantees a sound sleep on the plane.  Nothing is worse than not being able to sleep on a flight.  It makes the time go by faster when I take a snooze.

My flight landed around 4PM and Amber O'neal picked me up from the airport along side Amanda Rodriguez.  We got to the hotel within minutes to take a little nap then head to Cave in Rock, IL for The Gathering.  I was booked to co-host Rude Boys kick off party which means I had a killer dress for the event.  I had so much fun I forgot to get a picture of me in said dress :(  Hopefully there are some floating around out there.   I had a blast co-hosting, it's like my thing!  We danced the night away until 4AM then headed back to our hotel.  I caught some z's but made sure to wake up a little early to get some cardio in.  I took a years to be in the shape I am currently in and I want to keep it that way.  I didn't want to get off track so who cares if I only got a few hours of sleep.  I knew that sleep would find me when it was the right time and on day 2 it was time to do cardio!  The cherry on top The Notebook was on while doing cardio.  I'm a girl, I'm a hopeless romantic, I cried.  As I always say, my day can official start when I get a good cry out :)

So on our way to The Gathering we had car problems.  We almost didn't make it!  Of course we did and thank God we got there safely.  I will talk about this experience in full on this week's edition of Save Wrestling the podcast.  In short, we made it and I had a killer match with Miss Natural.  We ended up sleeping in Amber's car until the next day so we could get a new tire at Walmart.  Stay tuned for more videos and of course Save Wrestling the podcast.

See, every time I wake up super early I get so much done!  I have already conquered half of what I needed to do today and its barely 10:30 AM.  That's what I'm talking about.  I have a crazy couple of weeks ahead of me and today is the day of getting caught up on everything so I don't fall behind.  Stay tuned to see my crazy Goonie adventures ;)

                                                     

 

Hmmmm....if I want my wifi to work in my backyard does that mean I need a fancier router?  If you know, please leave your answer in the comment box below :)

I think today I will do Strength Builder and Red Hot Core.  I haven't been consistant the last few weeks and I totally feel the difference.  I am trying to make it a priorty to do at least Wake Up everyday. #AintYourMamasYoga #OwnIt #BAM BROTHER!

                                  

 

Nothing beat eating some fresh fruit in the AM!  I totally see and feel a difference when I have more fruit in my life.  In the morning my tummy is sensative and I don't feel hungry but once I force myself to snack on fruit I feel hydrated and ready to conquer the day.

Well, when I went home I realized the paper I was missing not only did I have but I mailed it to the courthouse months ago!  So I text The Mayo and told him I would mail, once again but this time take in back myself.  Oh those little bumps in the road sometimes they are so cute but mostly very annoying.  Needless to say I mailed it off and hope to be un-Mayoed ASAP!

I stand by my theory, my day can official start after I get a good cry.  I'm a girl! So sue me for having deep pink feelings that need to release every now and then with a good cry.  It's close to 6:30 PM and I can vouch that I had such an inspiration day after I made this video.  So much became clear to me, I owned my energy when I needed to and it feel good to be back.  Since my grandma passed I feel I have been allowing myself to be distracted with things/people which takes away from what I am put here to do.  In short, to send positive vibes to the masses in different forms.  I wonder what tomorrow will be like....