I can't believe I a day away from the kind of half way mark of my daily videos.  The last couple of weeks have been super tough but I am getting through my grandma's death the best I can.  With The Lord, Danielle and Kevin I have found great comfort and peace.  I deem today the official day back with all my video, pics and blog updates.  I look forward to going back through my You Tube videos and blog about them.  During the past few weeks I have just kind of posted videos with out blogging about them.  I wanted to capture real moments but wasn't ready to write yet.  Well, I better get ready for this weekend!  Stay tuned for more iPhone Diaries, Save Wrestling and of course pics!  Shalom.

I just got back from PWS training and am ready to eat dinner!  I had a rocky day but all in all it was a good one.  It's so radical that something so natural like cannabis can really help with depression.  Since dealing with this whole grandma situation I have found myself in some of the deepest sadness I have every experienced.  Each time I find myself going down a downward spiral in sadness I turn my vape on and I am able to regroup, focus and move forward.  Wake, vape, create and in this case create a positive mindset to take with me everywhere I go.  ONE Love!

Looking busted on #Day133 but hey, sometimes in life you look busted.  Having a very difficult time today thinking of my grandma.  I know The Lord is in control and I have full faith in His will but boy does it hurt when the person you love with all your heart is slowly slipping away.  People, remember to take care of your body.  You only get one.

Last week I had a gig for a silly web series about a fella who two-times girls.  Typical.  Speaking of typical I played Kelly, the girlfriend who always seems to be in a bikini top.  It was an interesting journey to the gig but all in all I had fun and look forward to working with them again.

Here's a behind the scenes video I made of my journey to the gig.  Boy was that an interesting day but I will  the best part of the day was the car ride home.  I got to have a convo about The Lord with a Jewish brother and that was a real moment.  There's enough  "Hollywood" fake, phony vibes out there and I think its so radical when conversation (like this) organically happen and you can see The Lords work in progress.  I am aware some people may think its a negative vibes when I do gigs like this.  What people do not understand is God uses me in situation like this.  Trust me, I know I have made some poor career choices in the past but I am grateful for them.  Now I know the difference between a shady gig that I sell myself short in vs a silly gig that almost always ends with a cool moment where I get to share ONE Love from His Majesty.

Don't forget to tune into Save Wrestling the podcast today at 3:30 PM EST on vocnation.com!

Day 131 at the VOC Nation table for Legends of the Ring.  I love being a part of the VOC Nation crew, they always add to the fun time ;)  Being at the VOC Nation table equals lots of laughter, positive vibes and we all make a couple extra bucks.  I dig it!  Make sure to check out Save Wrestling the podcast every Monday 12:30/3:30 PM EST on vocnation.com.

Hola!  Here's a quick little update I shot a few hours ago while on my way to get some coffee.  Today's is the day of positing pics and videos from Legends of the Ring and PWS.  It's going to be fun revisiting those moments :)

Yesterday was such an interesting day.  It had its up and downs, its highs its lows but more importantly I made it!  I had some cool conversations and that's what's up in life.  Yeah I was a part of a silly web series that involves me in a bikini but I was also able to share Light with those who need it the most.  Some people have shared with me they were confused that I always speak of The Lord yet show off my body.  I have learned from my mistakes and I know from experience that being topless or nude is not positive vibes for me.  What is interesting is I since I have grown spiritually I hold myself differently now and feel that not showing my bare breast (or more) keeps it more meaningful.  I feel it's meant only to share with the person I am meant to be with.   I believe it's all about intention and when I take silly gigs like this my intention is to use what I got to be in situations that lead to spiritual conversation.  I'm here to tell you it happens EVERY time, pinky swear.  Maybe I don't make sense but all I know is I hold myself differently therefore I get treated differently- in a positive way.  I am able to ease my way into character and be the actress I want to be.

After I got home Danielle and I headed to the AT&T store to pay our bill and what did we stumble upon? A Fonzi Find!  I'm telling you Fonzi is all over this town and I am more than okay with that.  Here's hoping that The Martinez Girlz bump into the real Fonzi and take a pic!

 

 

I'm not sure why my phone shot this weird angle but whatever.  I went to the post office today to send out my new Reality Check 8x10 and shirts!  I got new stock on all shirts get them while they last.  CLICK HERE to visit Shelly's Shop to place your order today!  

What a crazy day yesterday was.  As you see in the video above Danielle and I started out day ready for a fun photo shoot with no idea what was in our near future.  Seeing my grandma in a coma was one of the hardest things I have had to deal with.  I am so blessed to have Danielle and Kevin in my life.  They are blessing from God without a doubt.  Ever since I have embraced Judaism my relationship with The Lord has become so intimate.  He has given me wisdom, understanding, forgiveness and compassion.  I think if I was in this situation a year ago I would be taking all of this super hard and would have fallen in a deep depression.  It's like The Lord has been preparing me for this very moment in my life.  People have become distractions in my life but my relationship with Danielle and Kevin are far from distractions.  They are deep, real and positive vibes all around.

Today has been an interesting day.  Lots of support and positive vibes sent my way and I think its amazing!  I feel rested and renewed.  Though I find myself feeling numb when thinking of my grandma and what Danielle and I went through yesterday I feel empowered.  Last night I had a couple of conversations that NEEDED to happen and was a reminder of how far I have come within my soul. 

A pattern I have recently realized I have is whenever I'm on top of things/moving forward and real life situations happen I seem to lose motivation then fall into depression.  When I fall into that depression I no longer keep on top of things, get behind  find myself not moving forward.  Once I find myself not moving forward I get more depressed until I am at a low then I pick myself back up and get to business as usual.  Well, I refuse to do that anymore and I will not let life's serious moments take from me living my life.  I may not want to talk/text etc but that doesn't mean I have to stop sharing my life.  The Lord has placed upon my heart a passion for sharing my life in an open, honest way.  If I can help just one person with my story my mission is accomplished.  Peace be with all of you on this fine Shabbat afternoon.  Shabbat Shalom!